My reality check has bounced

Oh how interesting reality can be. From delivering a 22 week old baby to buying burial plots. Wow what a REAL couple of weeks. I am surprised how not weird all of this seems. A couple of weeks ago this experience was the absolute worst possible scenario. While it's still unbelievably heart wrenching, it all seems like such a blessing. Let me explain that, because even reading this on the screen it looks odd. It's a blessing in the following ways:

1. I got to finally feel what it is like to be a mother and hold our baby. That never ever ever seemed real until that very moment it happened.

2. Birth and death are natural parts of life. I've heard that and understand the words, but I never truly comprehended the meaning until this week. We are so fragile and God made us, ya know that whole ashes to ashes thing. But to be a part of that and witness the true and absolute miracle of the whole process is quite humbling.

3. I have a much better understanding of my body and how it works. I have a new found respect for particular bodily functions and gravity. I also understand that being the size I am really complicates things. So as soon as I'm released from Dr. Cunningham I'm headed back to Anytime.

4. I appreciate health care professionals on a whole new level. Let's take Dr. Cunningham for example. She is like no other doctor I've ever met. She's professional, but has a level of caring that I've never experienced before. After our big ultrasound in Houston on that Thursday we had more questions. On Friday we wanted to talk to Dr. Cunningham and get some answers. We never could get the office to pick up the phone so we just showed up at her office and asked if she could see us. Without hesitation she saw us and spent quite a bit of time explaining and answering all of our questions. Also, all the nurses at St. Mary's were great. We were amazed at them and all of the tasks they do. Take Tracey for example, she's the one who actually delivered Xavier. Once she saw that I was about to deliver she made things happen. It was like a well choreographed dance. She delivered our baby, finished up with me, came back to help me shower, changed my sheets, and cleaned my room like nothing had ever happened. It wasn't just all "let's just get this done". She took care of my needs medically, but she was also compassionate enough to keep me calm and reassured. We heard her sniffle as Brandi, the other nurse, handed us Xavier. That takes quite a special person to pull all of that off.

5. We are so blessed by our family and friends. I've said this in previous blogs, but the love that we've seen from sending flowers, to phone calls, to meals prepared for us, without that love and support we wouldn't have made it through this. No one should have to go though something like this alone. We didn't have to and we are truly blessed and grateful.

I'm sure there are more that I just haven't processed yet. But this is the whole of it here.